Who I Am vs. Where I Belong

While I’m Japanese by heritage, I don’t feel as much of an affinity to Japan or Japanese culture in the sense of “I belong there.” I know enough about Japanese culture where I know that even if I can speak the language and get around geographically, I won’t have a sense of actually belonging there.

Physically, I am too Western in how I carry myself. I’ve observed this personally; I can tell that I’m not blending into the background. And it’s not just because of the hair. It’s my physical size and dimensions. It’s my non-verbal body language.

On the other hand, I felt a greater sense of acceptance during the all-too-brief visit to Hawai`i.

Being such a melting pot of Eastern cultures and island natives, it’s not a strange thing to see so many eastern Asian names and conventions adopted into Hawaiian culture. Someone named “Murakami” may be 4th or 5th generation Hawaiian and have never stepped foot in Japan.

While Japan is my heritage, I also know that if I’m ever in a situation where I have to live in Japan for the rest of my life, I’ll be seen as an “other” upon setting foot in the country. I’ll never be comfortable there because the society will never accept me as belong there; I’m too Westernized.

I didn’t feel that same sense of ostracization in Hawaii. Sure, there was that sense of “tourist” because that’s Hawaii’s business. But it was still somehow a little different. Not as separating as with Japan. I felt like after a few weeks of either living in Japan or living in Hawaii, I’d feel more at home in Hawaii than Japan.

That’s an intense realization.

I feel like I’d be tolerated in Japan. I feel like I’d be accepted in Hawaii.

This may be naive, but with the experienced I had in both places, it feels pretty accurate. It’s amazing, therefore, that heritage has less to do with a sense of belonging than experience.

Goodbye, Verizon

After many, many years, we finally said goodbye to Verizon. We’d been with them through numerous series of acquisitions over decades. I started with Ameritech, of all names. Then it became Cingular, and I’m sure AT&T was involved in there somewhere. But eventually, we landed in Verizon’s pool and had stayed there ever since.

We were on an old plan with them, sharing 2 GBs of data between our two phones. That was perfectly adequate, and the price was reasonable. In fact, they kept trying to sell us to move to the traditional plans of unlimited data for the same price per line that we were paying for both of our lines together.

Not a great sales tactic.

What they really should’ve done was just end the plan we were on. But they didn’t do that because they knew we’d just leave at that point. Instead, they did something dumber.

They raised the price of our plan by about $45/month, so they got us anyway, to pay over $70/line but with limited data capacity. I know it was a tactic to get us to voluntarily leave the legacy plan, assuming that the switching cost would be too inconvenient.

They were wrong.

After a chance conversation at a Spectrum office for an unrelated piece of business, I got clued into their mobile offer (because of course they have to sell something at every opportunity). But while my gut instinct is to turn down unexpected/pressure sales, it did make me think about it. So at my own convenience, I researched the offer separately.

I didn’t find a catch or a gotcha. One year of unlimited for the same price as Verizon’s increase for one line. Two lines would be what we were just paying before the VZN price hike. My new employer offers to subsidize personal cellphone use for those of my job class, which means I’m paying $40/month for two lines.

And Spectrum leases Verizon’s towers anyway.

This reminds me of when we finally cut off our old copper phone line from AT&T. After they raised the rate to $65/month about 20 years ago, I was done justifying paying that much on a just-in-case that was born from the great blackout of 2003. I knew they were trying to sell their VOIP service instead, but I didn’t stay with AT&T because of that.

Almost like there’s a pattern here of not-quite-great business decisions. Or maybe it is, and I’m not smart enough to figure that out.

When the promo rate expires, I was explicitly told by the Spectrum rep I worked with to contact either his store or the main CS number to ask for a new deal. They’re clearly more interested in retaining and growing their customer base, which is fine by me as long as I don’t have to pay those near-monopolistic Verizon prices again.

We Move

As I’m mentally starting to shift to the new job, I just got hit by another wave of anxiety. Did I make the right choice? What have I done? Why did I leave somewhere safe?

I know they’re all irrational reactions, a defense mechanism. But as humans, they’re hard-wired into our brains and nervous system. Change is hard, and change is dangerous. At least, that’s what our instincts tell us.

I’m going to have a 90±5 mile one-way commute. That feels like a very convenient excuse to run away and call this whole thing off, crawl with my tail between my legs to beg for my old job back, and forget this whole thing ever happened.

That’s still just an excuse, though, and would do more damage than good.

A role like this doesn’t come around often. I know. I’ve personally experienced that since I’ve been applying, sometimes interviewing, and most frequently getting rejected for these roles for the last 12-15 years. Only once did I get a second interview AND an offer.

I ended up declining because I realized it wasn’t the job I wanted. It was only that specific business unit that I wanted to join. That wasn’t enough, given the other trade-offs required by the organization as a whole.

I’d all but given up when my last opportunity in November of ’24 ended up with the same proverbial door closed in my face, made even worse considering that it was within my own department, then being told “no, you’re not good enough to unseat the person who was already tabbed for the job before any of this even started. But thank you for participating in the courtesy interview.”

Soon after, my connections and professional network came through for me (again). I got clued into this new opportunity weeks before it got publicized. During the pros/cons phase, I had to weigh how much the biggest con (the commute & distance) compared to the biggest pro (the documented, official leadership role and title that I’ve been told over the years that my résumé lacked).

When the entire process concluded and I had the unofficial job offer on the table in front of me, I waffled a moment. I think I made the executive director a bit nervous at that point because he knew the drive time was a big concern, when weighed also with my family obligations.

In the past, I’ve either skipped postings or even outright declined offers to even just talk based solely on commute time. I’d gotten very comfortable with driving 11 miles, none of which on a highway, and being home in less than a half-hour. I had artificially limited myself to considering opportunities only within the local area. That backfired on me as there were few, if any, available. Those that were available were significant steps back at worst and a lateral move at best, and the very few that met professional growth criteria just meant that my applications were rejected or ignored anyway.

I raised this again with my wife. She shared my hesitation since she had worries of her own about all of this. But we also knew, based on my history of rejection, that I’d never get an opportunity like this again before I retire from K-12. All of those years of districts saying “no” because:

  • I didn’t already have a line in the rez with the title “manager,” “supervisor,” or director.
  • I wasn’t technical enough, having not been a network engineer along with people leader along with DBA along with certified project manager.
  • I was too technical. I wasn’t a former classroom teacher or principal who just happened to have a “passion for technology.”
  • The district knew they couldn’t afford me or afford to keep me, even if I accepted a salary downgrade just to get the job.
  • The district already intended to promote a specific person to the role, but needed to field applications and give a certain number of interviews to make it look less nepotistic.

I started feeling that while I’m not blind to the political landscape of human resources, I may have been too naive. I hit the professional ceiling and felt like those years of sacrifice in school to improve my chances of professional growth — both myself and my family — was a waste of time, emotion, and now the albatross of the Ancient Mariner that is my student loan.

So how can I run away now? If I run, then I’m back to exactly where I was. Those two paragraphs before the list above. And the difference is that there will not be any more chances. Plus there’s the cascading effect that my leaving is having on both the organization and the colleagues I’m leaving behind. It’s finally woken the organization up to what we’ve been wringing hands about for years. Just unfortunate that it’s taking my departure to spur them into realizing it and snapping out of the complacency that we’ve frankly enabled.

I was hired for a reason. I made it through about six weeks of the process to get to this point and each of the checkpoints in those six weeks. In a way, K-12 is like professional sports. There is a limited number of spots on a team roster or front-office managerial positions or coaching spots. And there’s always someone coming up from behind, ready to take your job from you. Creating new jobs or even expanding the headcount for a job role doesn’t happen very regularly, if at all.

That I made it to this point is, I have to remember, a testament to my professionalism and my experience. Just because a friend let me know this job was coming doesn’t mean my friend got me this job (he’d done me the same favor years ago for a different role at this organization, but I didn’t even make it past the initial phone screen then).

So I’ll make the drive. I’ll work to earn the trust that they’ve shown in me by offering me the job. We’re in the job of educating kids, so I’ll bring my experience, my philosophy, and my professional connections to help. I’ll stumble along the way, certainly, but I won’t run away.

Can’t Delete or Rename a File from the Desktop Despite Admin Permissions

Over the course of the last few days, I’d searched for images and dragged ones I wanted on to the desktop. This morning, I saw a shortcut on the desktop, what looked like a broken link with the name “data image_jpeg;base64 [whole buncha’ hex values]

The problems with this file were:

  • Can’t delete it
  • Can’t drag it to Recycle Bin
  • Can’t edit its file name
  • Attempting to delete with CMD or PowerShell results in “file not found” (IT’S RIGHT THERE!!!!!)

All permissions are as expected. I’m the admin on my machine. It didn’t come from a badly written GPO.

The Fix

Open WinRAR, of all things. Navigate to the file’s location (in my case, the desktop). Delete the file from within WinRAR’s explorer with Shift+DEL.

Thank You, PSUG

This past week was the return to in-person conferences for PSUG (which does not officially stand for “PowerSchool User Group”…but it kinda’ is). I had the privilege of teaching 5 different topics across 6 sessions. I read through the session feedback surveys and when focusing on some of the more critical comments, I found that I agreed with them.

Some of my sessions were too short and I could’ve included more material. I recognized that I had planned for a hour’s worth of content but then discovered that the session length was 90 minutes instead. OK, got it. I’ll plan better for next time.

I’m also flattered and humbled by all of the positive comments. Some remarked that they’d want me to teach for an entire week and not just for a couple of 90-minute sessions here and there. I did prep my learners that what I was going to show them was only the tip of the iceberg, so I suppose that checks out.

The one thing I was worried about and made sure to focus on was my habit of talking too fast. I got some advice from a more experienced presenter that “nobody complains if you go too slow, but everyone complains if you go too fast.” I took that to heart because I know in past presentations, I have talked too fast and burned through slides due to both nervousness and realizing that I’m not engaging with the audience as I expected and hoped to.

I feel like the success of my sessions was because I inject a lot of comedic touches in my speech. I had to remind myself that despite the size of the audience, I am speaking to peers; people who are in my line of work, who do the same things I do, and who suffer through the same setbacks and indignities as I have.

So what can I do to reassure them that I get it? I know their pain. I know their difficulties. How do I connect with them on the same level?

In my minor in college (training & development), one of the first things we need to do when designing instruction for adults is performing a needs assessment. What does my audience need from me and my content? If my content doesn’t address their needs, then it’s failed.

Answer their question: “what’s in it for me?”

Justify why they’re there.

If I can make them laugh, if I can get them to relax, to see me as a partner rather than a lecturer, then they’re more apt to be engaged and open to learning.

I did feel that my weakest sessions were the ones where I was sitting down at the computer to demonstrate steps and processes even if I wanted them to walk through it with me. The ones where I was standing most of the time and moving around to prompt participation were the more successful ones. But those step-by-step ones, I still have to sit or remain static in one place in order to demonstrate the material. So not sure how to make that more stimulating and engaging.

Well, either way, this is an ongoing learning experience for me. My first time presenting before peers was a total disaster because I panicked and did everything wrong. My second time was better. I had more experience after that, and I think this time around has been the most success I’ve had yet.

And I want to get better at it even still.

PC’s Serial Number from Command Prompt

Instead of crawling under a desk with all the nasty dirt and other things that office workers do to their floors, or trying to decipher the faded label from the underside of a laptop, use this command to reveal the serial number:

wmic bios get serialnumber

This would’ve been so much more helpful when I was still a field technician.

Conditional Formatting in a Power BI Table (without aggregation)

“Use the right tool for the job!”

Well, sometimes, I need a hammer that can drive nails, remove them, drive screws, and open a bottle of beer (without opening up my flesh at the same time). In the case, I’m building a Power BI report but need to incorporate a data table.

Sounds basic, except that included in the data are text-based values, not numbers. And I’m not using aggregation or calculation, so the default methods of conditional formatting in a Power BI table don’t work for me. The right tool here would be Excel where I can apply conditional formatting pretty much however the heck I want.

I don’t want to use Excel.

Here’s what I want to see:

And here’s how I did it.

In the PowerQuery editor, I added conditional columns that defined the HTML hex code color I want to use, depending on the text value:

Then, back in my report, I choose the field that’s included as a value in my table, open the dropdown menu, choose Conditional Formatting and Background color:

I’m formatting based on the field value, and choosing the column that contains the color value (in this case, “Ext Color”). I don’t care about the choice in “Summarization.”

And that applies the color choice to the column based on the value within the cell.

Spin-Off

I decided to spin off my guitar building projects to a new site, Taiho Guitars. While this year has been far from typical, I have noticed that guitar building has dominated the posts of late here at MHT, leaving behind the original theme of “technology.”

FC Bayern

I was chatting with my coworker one morning. We tend to have conversations that just randomly veer off into multiple directions as a start to our day, which is nice. I showed her photos of Cabernet as we’d just gotten back from our house up north.

Her eyes got wide and she asked if I could build something as an anniversary gift for her husband. My first commission!

It was a challenge because it’s a left-handed bass. I did some searching and found a kit and gave her an estimate. I quoted low because I’m still in the beginner stage of luthier-dom. She said to go for it. I asked her to think about a design scheme or theme for it, and a day or two later, she had an idea.

Her husband is a big fan of FC Bayern. His family is from Bavaria, although he was born and raised in the US. So I had to do some research to see what they looked like and how to apply that theme to the bass.

.

There were lots of challenges with this bass kit. Glue spots in the body prevented even dye absorption, parts were missing, or parts were damaged, so I ended up buying replacement parts throughout the building of this instrument. I learned about lacquer blush because one morning, I took the body out to the shed at our country house to get started on the day’s round of top-coating early.

Too early, as it turned out. Too much humidity in the morning air led to moisture being trapped under the layer of lacquer I laid down. This resulted in a distinct white haze and a lot of cursing from me. Luckily, I discovered that if I spray a light mist of lacquer over those spots to remelt the lacquer, the moisture can escape, which it did.

By the time I’d gotten to tuning and intonating, an electronics problem arose. The tone potentiometer was somehow damaged and fell apart as I was tuning. The shaft spun in 360° — that’s not good. Then a piece of the PCB broke off. So I had to order a replacement pot, which delayed final set-up even more.

But it was eventually done.

I included the team’s motto — Mia san mia — in the headstock. I used my Cricut vinyl cutter to cut the motto from white vinyl, applied it to the headstock then spent several days covering it with lacquer to reduce the millimeters of noticeable height difference as well as to protect the vinyl.

Similarly, I added a tribute to the Bavarian flag on the pickguard:

The hue is closer to the actual Bavarian flag than the variation used in the FC Bayern logo. I was having trouble finding a more royal blue vinyl rather than the navy blue I kept finding, so I went with the lighter sky-blue hue to match the flag instead. I found a matched color of Testors enamel marker, so I lined the edge of the pickguard with the enamel for an additional detail.

Testing it out turned out to be rather difficult as I’m a right-handed player. I tried playing the bass intro the Metallica’s My Friend of Misery but the longer horn that’s supposed to be at the top get getting in the way. Playing it upside down also meant my muscle memory had to adjust to the new placement of the strings. I gave up and went with something simpler instead.

I played through the pentatonic scale in A a few times then hit Stand By Me instead:

It only looks like I’m playing left-handed as I took the video in selfie mode, which mirror-imaged the whole thing, as evidenced by my Testament t-shirt.

This will be delivered to the office this week so my coworker will see it first thing in the morning.

Pivot

I was getting frustrated applying wipe-on poly to Kijo, only to consistently see wipe marks drying into the finish and no amount of sanding could smooth it out completely. The more aggressive I got, the more I burned through the underlying black.

I know I’m still doing it incorrectly, so it’s definitely a matter of not having executed proper technique. But I also know my frustration levels in that I need to feel like I’ve accomplished something in order to not give up in exasperation.

I went back to the tried and true method instead of spray lacquer. That was another $20 I wasn’t anticipating, but it got me mentally and emotionally back on track, at least.